The silver lining

They say that there is a silver lining to every cloud and I have to say that in this case that just may be true.

Michael has RSV and being that he is my son, he believes in the whole go big or go home ideal. The only thing keeping him out of the hospital right now is that his pediatrician, the nurse practitioner and myself are worried about exposing a child with compromised lungs and immune system to all the fluey kids already in the hospital. His pulse ox was 92 earlier today but after two nebulizer treatments we got it back up to 96/97 which was enough for him to come home with me. We are also joined by a nebulizer machine, bronchiodialator, inhaled steroids and oral steroids. He is getting breathing treatments every four hours which means that Mommy is basically living her life in three hour intervals in between setting up the treatments, administering the treatments and then cleaning up all of the equipment.

And have I mentioned that my contract at work is in the midst of a huge technical meeting this week and I have to talk to my boss about whether or not I will be traveling to Europe next week as planned? Yeah, my boss is going LOVE me after our conversation tomorrow.

But in the midst of all this, there is a silver lining. In the hustle of every day, trying to keep the house in order, care for two dogs, be a good employee and a good single mom/military spouse I have to take 40 minutes out of every four hours to hold my son. Sure, most of the time he's wrestling and crying but when I give him his treatments at night, its forty minutes to hold my baby (who really is more of a boy than a baby at this point). I smell his freshly washed hair and feel his warm (okay, feverish) little body against mine. I would do anything to have him healthy, but I try to close my eyes and savor these moments because I know all too soon he won't need me like this anymore.

But for tonight, he still does.