White wine and pepperoni

Tonight I am watching the Emmy's while drinking white wine from the bottle and eating pepperoni.  This wouldn't be significant if I hadn't been breathlessly staring at a barely there positive pregnancy test earlier this week.

Collective gasp of shock...ok, are we all done?  Good.

We weren't exactly trying, but we weren't not trying either.  We were part of that normal segment of the population who just goes out and gets pregnant.  It was nice while it lasted, which was all of about 3 or 4 days until the next test turned up negative and I started my second early miscarriage/chemical pregnancy.  We are sad, disappointed but at least for me not entirely surprised.  Even as I was staring at the test, I just knew that this wasn't going to end well.  Damn woman's intuition.

The hubs is taking this hard and that makes this hard.  He wanted to TTC again right away but I convinced him to wait until January because I want him to focus on completing OCS and not the state of my uterus.  Of course, this gives him time to plan and allowing a Marine to put together a plan of attack is a dangerous thing; I just got another text message adding yet another thing to my TTC-preparation check list.  For future reference, telling my husband to check out The Bump was probably a bad idea if I wanted a relaxed approach TTC our second child.  

So I still owe you all a bigger update, but while I am doing well tonight (well minus the drinking wine out of the bottle thing) I know that there is bound to be a dark day or two ahead and I think you should have the context before I start blubbering about some missed milestone or another.